Three Slogans

Acceptance is a big part of my program today. Acceptance keeps me out of expectations (premeditated resentments), resentments, and revisited resentments. I can take “hits” off of any of these and these hits can lead me directly to lust. One thing that helps me a great deal is using three simple slogans.

“It is what it is.” This reminds me that the circumstances of my life, in this very moment, are what they are. It is of no use to fret over them. “You are Who You are.” speaks of the awesome greatness of my God. He is the great I AM. He can handle any situation that is confronting me. “I am who I am.” tells me that I am exactly who God wants me to be in this very moment. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have character defects that need to be changed. It just means that today I accept where I am in the process.

“It is what it is.” “You are Who You are.” “I am who I am.” All are good slogans to remember on the road of recovery.

Rain

I love the feeling of a warm spring rain on my face. There is a certain sweet smell and the pleasant sound of drops as they fall. Rain softens the ground, preparing it for new growth.

I can reach out my hand then close it into a fist, but I cannot grasp the rain. As hard as I try, my closed fist cannot capture it. If instead, I open my fist and reach out my hands, palms up, the rain will softly fall into them. I still cannot grasp it but I can “receive” it.

Today I desire to surrender to the sweet working of the power of God in my life. I open myself up. I reach out to him and receive the warmth of his spirit. He softens me and prepares my life for growth and fruit. It’s hard to explain, but I can’t hold his spirit with a “clenched fist”. Each day, I must open my life and look to him. One day at a time, I receive many blessings from my Higher Power.

God, reign in me!

The Most Holy Trinity

The Lover looked down
Upon the Beloved
With a burning intensity of Love.
One last long look.
Then he turned his back.
And the sky turned black.

The Beloved sought in vain
Another look of love.
Yet Love burned
On within his heart.

The Beloved looked down
Upon the beloved
With a burning intensity of Love.
One long unending look.
Then he offered his back.

Love held together
The nails and the tree.
The Beloved willing
Made the sacrifice.
The Lover consumed the offering.
With a burning intensity of Love.

My Life is a Garden

Last fall, I worked hard on a little patch of dirt behind my garage. I used a rake to cultivate the soil. I cleared away a number of large rocks that were there. I removed them so that I could plant a garden this spring. But then, over the winter, another layer of rocks worked their way to the surface. I am so frustrated.

My life is like that garden. The rocks are my defects of character and the debris of my self-will and self-reliant living. God clears away the defects that are on the surface. Then the next layer of “rocks” emerges. God is not frustrated. He continues to remove every single defect that stands in the way of his purpose: my usefulness to him and to others. It is a process. It takes time. Thankfully, God continues to cultivate the garden of my life

Sponsorship Is From God

God, thank you for the wonderful gift of my sponsor. He taught me how to trust when I didn’t know how. He taught me that I am a worthwhile and wonderful person. He taught me how to be in a relationship with someone, which led me to being in a relationship with Someone. He taught me about the steps.

He’s teaching me how to take one step at a time. The step I must now take is to let go. It hurts! If I try to hang on, I won’t be able to anyway, and my “fist will be clenched’. I won’t be able to receive, with open hands, what God has next for me.

Would it have been better if my sponsor had never entered my life? No!

O God! I’m powerless!
You are God.
I choose to give my will and my life over to you in this very difficult moment.
I choose to let go and let God.

God, you are my ultimate sponsor.

Nancy S.

These words were written regarding the move of my beloved sponsor, who was truly a gift from God. They were written on a note, tied to a helium balloon and released into the sky.

A Man Died Today

The bell rang 33 times,
Only 33 times.
A young man died today.

You’d think with one so young
There would be many to mourn.
No.

For
There was scandal.
There were whispers.
He hung out with other men
(and street people).
One man – were they too close?
He slept with his head on the
young man’s breast!
It just isn’t done.

I looked at him as he hung dying.
He’d been tortured
But he also looked ravaged.
Had he been sick?
Maybe it’s better not to talk
about these things.

A young man died today.

But
He ignored the scandalous lies.
His silent truth
echoed to the heavens.
The pure charity that
he extended,
The chaste intimacy that
he shared
Was not understood.

I looked at him as he hung dying.
I watched as he died.
They pierced his breast!
He was ravaged
by my sin.

Jesus Christ died today.