I’ve read that the testing of my faith produces endurance. That the result is that I will be complete, lacking in nothing. Sometimes I don’t understand that. Sometimes I think that it only makes me weary.
In the past, I’ve worked with ceramics. The “greenware”, or formed but unbaked clay pieces, are coated with very dull looking glazes before they are put in the kiln. Then the kiln is fired up. The heat becomes quite intense and lasts for quite a while. Once the kiln is turned off, it must remain completely sealed until it has cooled down to room temperature. If the cover is opened too soon, the ceramic pieces will explode. With patience though, the glazes on the finished pieces become brilliant.
Sometimes I seem to be like a piece of greenware. I have been formed by the hands of my Higher Power while seeming to whirl around on the potter’s wheel of life. I am coated in the dullness of everyday living. I am tried and tested by the fires of difficult circumstances. I need to be patient. Sometimes I almost feel like I will explode if I have to wait any longer to see the results in my life. But I need to persist in the face of time. What once seemed dull and even difficult can turn brightly colored. The testing of my faith does produce endurance. I am complete – complete in God.
2 comments:
Dear Nancy,
I had to write back to you tonight. Have just finished reading your meditation. I can't help but think that the Holy Spirit had you write that for me!!!! I have had a very difficult week. Issues of control and the such. What is really amazing is that I read in James a couple days ago and was meditating on the same verse you used. As an addict, sinner, I seem to always want to do things to control my life so that I will be happy. My job is a source of the dullness that you described. At times, it seems unbearable. I so relate with wanting to see the results of all this. But, I sense God saying to me, be patient. And also, my grace will carry you through everyday; just for today. I want grace for the next year. But its only for today. I struggle with dullness and boredom. I find myself having a passive/aggressive attitude towards God, for when the periods of boredom and dullness come, I pull away from God by not praying to him. Of course, the noise only grows and then lust comes in. As embarrasing as this is to say, I find myself throwing a tantrum or fit to manipulate God to change my circumstances. While I'm in the furnace, the last thing I do is pray. But from what I am learning is that God loves me too much to give in to my tantrums and throwing fits. I am thankful for this. Otherwise I would never change or grow. I was discussing this with my wife tonight, and I shared that when I do reach out to God for grace and strength to get through circumstances, he is always there. I am beggining to realize that if God would give me everything i wanted when I wanted, would I really need him or reach out to him? I would like to think so, but I'm not sure. Anyways, you asked about my greenware experience. Thanks for writing. You are not alone.
Greg L.
Thanks Nancy for your wonderful gift and desire to share your ESH on your blog. I hope to meet you in Akron.Dave Mc
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